A Californian living in Sweden

Month: January 2018

Off Season Off Road

 

It’s a rainy Monday and I think I have come to terms with this. It rains in Malmö — a lot. I don’t know if this is true all year or just summer, fall and winter. We have been here almost 7 months, and so far it has rained constantly. Hardly two days in a row pass without rain.

My friend who visited us from the UK last week said it was similar there too. We both lived in California for a decade and we are intimately aware of our need for sunshine. While we were walking through Malmö, the sun burst through the cloud cover, and I got excited.

“I haven’t seen the sun in weeks!” It might have been a gross exaggeration for the benefit of someone who would understand, but it had been days at least.

But as I have mentioned in this blog before, weather is not a show stopper in Sweden. People bike, walk, run, and even push baby strollers through the wind, rain and drizzle. I have even heard of people jumping into the ocean in January. It is a bit of a macho Viking thing, but still, it happens. I have seen pictures.

While weather is not a show stopper, observing correct activities for correct seasons might be.

It is kind of like an LA friend once told me, “There is beach season and hiking season in southern California.” You can go to the beach in winter, but it will be too cold to swim, and you can hike in the heat of summer, but that can be hot, dry and miserable too. In Sweden it seems to be both a matter of practicality and tradition. Seasons are not just for weather. Swedish life is organized into seasons for work and food and apparently, motorcycling too.

Saturday I dropped Kip and River off near a known motorcross trail, which was really a series of dirt roads, in Skåne. I drove the car up to Markaryd, left it there and caught a couple of  trains back to Malmö. It was great for me to get out of the city, drive through farmland and deep woods, and remember that Sweden is much bigger than our beloved grey Malmö. It is rural with small towns and mid-sized cities, connected by roads and trains.

It was also great for me to navigate the trains myself. Kip commutes by train several times a week to Älmhult, but I rarely use them as we live and work in Malmö. On the weekends we use the car if we need to get somewhere further away than our feet will carry us in 20 minutes.

When the train stopped in Hässleholm I walked around to get a look-and-see at this charming mid-sized city. Its the last weekend of January and it still looks like Christmas there.

I like using public transit, even if no one speaks to each other, it brings people together in a way that traveling in cars cannot. As we sit, side by side, we are traveling together, a common goal of moving through space and time, a common need to commute spawned by an infinite number of personal needs – to go to work, to shop, to get to school, to visit someone in the hospital, to get out.

It gives me time to be philosophical about people riding in trains.

The men found the car where I left it, and made it back home hungry and cold; and when I told my Swedish friend later Saturday night, she laughed.

“You know, in Sweden we have a saying, ‘When you hear motorcycles, its time for spring.’”

Kip seemed to agree. It was fun, but too cold, too soon. It might be a couple of months before the bikes make it back on the trail. In the meantime I have seen him scoping out the possibilities of a summer, Baja style, European motorcross trip.

Cool Runnings

I think there are people who love to run, but I have not met many of them.

I think most runners are like me. They look out the window, observe that it is too hot, too cold, too windy, too rainy or whatever, and then they lace up and head out the door anyway. It’s never an easy start, but I almost always feel better after the run, sometimes even during the run.

Winter in Malmö is no exception.

Even with my hat, gloves, long-sleeve outer running shell and new running tights that cover my legs to the ankle, I still brace for the cold, especially if it is windy. And I find myself thinking about easier options.

Last week I tried an indoor gym a few times. Running on the treadmill was boring, although it offered me the unique opportunity to watch American reruns with Swedish subtitles. At no time in my previous life could I have predicted that in January 2018 I would be watching Murder She Wrote, picking through the Swedish words I know, while running on a treadmill — sweating inside to avoid the wintery elements outside.

They had free coffee at the gym, but not a single drinking fountain. When I asked the attendant where the water fountain was, he told me to get water from the toilet. That’s what he said, toilet. At least I have been here long enough to know that toilet is a general word for restroom, which is comforting, but when my free trial week ended, I decided to go back to outside running.

Earlier this month, when we returned from California and started running in the Malmö parks again, I noticed that the birds were standing in the middle of the lake. They were standing on partially submerged ice, surrounded by warmer water, and it looked like they were frozen statues floating on liquid.

But that was just one or two mornings.

Every other day that we have run the lake and ponds have been ice free. It is just not cold enough for them to freeze, and really, that surprises me. Here we are in January, one of the coldest months of the northern hemisphere, and it is so warm in southern Sweden that the ponds don’t freeze.

It has barely snowed this winter either. We had a dusting in December and last week there was snow mixed in the rain, dissolving on the streets below. People have told us that it is typical, but my Malmö friends also tell me that when they were children they remember snow sledding in Pildammsparken. I can’t imagine.

Is this what global warming looks like?

It could be. A few degrees difference would make a big difference in allowing the ponds to freeze and snow to fall. As it is, the temperatures have hovered just above freezing. No snow, just grey clouds and cold drizzle, but ironically, once you warm up, its not bad running weather though.

Today the air was the warmest yet, and deep fog hovered over the lake in an ethereal kind of beauty. Like so many things in this Swedish immersion experience, its different from what life was like before, different, but beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awake in the Dark

Awake in the darkness.

Thinking. Writing with eyes shut.

Quiet. Still. Maybe it will pass if I stop thinking.

No. Every waking thought propels me higher out of sleep. I am no longer hovering over my barely conscious dreams. I am awake.

I check the time. Just past 4 a.m.

It’s four in the morning
I can’t sleep and it feels like a warning
Oh oh….”

Thank you, Switchfoot for the soundtrack of my life. It is the second week we have been back in Sweden and I still can not get the night sleep right. Is it jet lag? Is it taking melatonin at night and being too tired during the day to stay awake, power napping and waking up at night after too few hours?

Is it that I feel suspended between directions again, not working on a big goal, restless? At night my mind wakes up. The tyranny of choice. What to do? What should be a blessing feels like a curse. Freedom. Responsibility. Opportunity slipping away.

I am naturally a morning person, so when I wake up at night I think it is especially difficult to get back to sleep. All my intellectual energy pours into problem solving mode. Sometimes the unabashed, illogical dream consciousness holds on just long enough to make thoughts creative. I see in color. I solve in color.

If I did not think it would hurt my family/social life, I could just wake up every morning at 4 a.m. for a private writing session, followed by a long midday nap. Maybe that is what winter should look like in Sweden, for me.

This morning after I got up I walked out into the living room, stretched and watched the blowing snow in the suspended street lights. In a city that stays dark for so many hours in January, the street lighting systems are evidence of Sweden’s strong, stable government. Miles of public lights illuminate the streets and sidewalks, bike paths and even parks. Its easy and relatively safe to get around after dark. But sometimes it’s hard to sleep with the light pressing into the apartment, especially at 4 in the morning.

Snow and light and I really need to learn how to use my camera better

I can hear the wind and I am glad I don’t have to go anywhere this morning. The snow seems to turn to rain before it hits the pavement below. There is no picturesque accumulation of snow, just driving, wet precipitation. Snow and rain and ice and wind.

We were told it would be this way, but this is the first week it has been cold enough to experience it. You have to leave Malmö to see snow in winter. It just does not get cold enough here with the marine layer to support snow. It is winter without snow, like Narnia without Christmas.

What should I do with it?

 

 

 

All I Want for Christmas is a Little Bit of California

Our two weeks in Los Angeles were everything I had hoped for. Sunshine. Ocean. Friends. Family time together. We were able to spend quality time with almost all of our close friends there, and we had time to just be together, the four of us. It was the first time we had been together since August when Kip and River said goodbye to Micah and I took her to Colorado to start her away-from-home college experience. And our reunion together was sweet.

I arrived in LA early, getting a rental car and settling into our home for the next two weeks. I was able to drive up to our old house in Malibu and get the Christmas decorations out of our storage shed.

I took this picture when I drove up to our old house in Malibu. Even after seven years of knowing this place, I am still amazed by the beauty of it.

While I was at the shed I picked up a handful of books, thinking about how difficult it is to get English books in Sweden. In the past, when I wanted a buy a new book I just ordered it on Amazon Prime and it was delivered, for free, a couple of days later. Amazon is not easily available in Sweden and products that come into the country have significant taxes. Things can cost as much as 50 percent more. Consequently I have not bought any books in English. I felt a little guilty, weighing down my suitcase with more books, but I told myself that I would give many of them away while I am in Sweden. What is the point of having beautiful books that sit on the shelf when there are people who would enjoy them?

I spent the rest of my “free” day in LA, driving around to visit some of my close friends. I saw my dear friend Salina and the beginnings of her new venture —  starting a studio teaching classes with Bellicon trampolines. I bounced around for a minute and then had tea with my dear friend Annie. The day ended with a girls night at another friend’s house and I got to see my friend Katie’s baby who had been born while we were in Malmö.

Tea with Annie was like I never left Sweden

Dear friend Salina

Girls’ night in

When Micah arrived we went straight to our favorite taqueria in Santa Monica. Benny’s Tacos. One of the things we miss in Sweden is good Mexican food. Perhaps I should say good, cheap, Mexican food. There is a really good taco place in Lund that we have frequented, but it is more like upscale food truck prices in LA. Anyhow, Benny’s is the best in Santa Monica; and when Kip and River arrived a day later we went there a second night in a row.

On Saturday morning, with our whole family in Los Angeles, we piled into our tiny rental car and went on a spontaneous LA road trip that lasted all day. It was somewhat unplanned in that one errand led to another, but it was great. We had brunch with our good friends the Thompsons in South LA, then we surprised Kip’s longtime friend and colleague, Jackie, at her house.

After a crazy mall stop with the last-minute Christmas crowds, we drove up over the 405, saw the recent fire devastation and went into the valley. We had to go to three different Christmas tree vendors before we found one. Kip complained about the price for our tiny two foot tree, but the kids and I were delighted. Sometimes it is the silly things that make it feel like “Christmas.”

The tree that was shorter than River.

From there we continued our rounds, visiting with more friends in the Calabasas area. By the time we got back to our “home,” we were exhausted.

Christmas Eve we could not decide where to go to church since we were a part of two congregations in Los Angeles, so we went to both – Malibu Presbyterian and Vintage in Santa Monica. They were both beautiful and I left with my heart full.

Micah and me outside of Malibu Pres for their family Christmas Eve service.

Christmas Day we had our family time, around our baby tree; and then we headed down to Manhattan Beach to have Christmas Dinner with my brother and his family who were visiting his in laws for the holiday.

River teaching his cousin the Jedi way

The nephew teaching Uncle Kip the two-year-old’s Jedi way

The week between Christmas and New Years was somehow just as busy. One day we went to the new Star Wars movie with friends. Another day Micah hiked with friends and I spontaneously drove to my favorite beach in Malibu and ran there, finishing with a beach picnic of grocery store sushi. The next day I convinced the whole family to return to the same spot and we had a really special family day there. Mountains. Sun. The water was warm enough to wade into just a little bit. It was probably my favorite day of our vacation.

The next few days were quieter. Kip, Micah and I ran the nearly three mile trek up our old mountain neighborhood. Then Kip built a fire pit and we hosted a small get together with random friends who were available for a last minute backyard party.

Spontaneous backyard party

New Years Eve we helped a friend move out of her apartment in Inglewood, and I noted once again how expensive the cost of living in Los Angeles has become. It is amazing how much money landlords can charge for people to live in substandard, arguably less than safe, neighborhoods.

After this we drove across Los Angeles to a completely different neighborhood in the suburbs of Thousand Oaks. We celebrated New Years there with some friends who spent two years in Switzerland as expats. Hearing their story and the lessons they have learned from uprooting their family and taking them on international adventures, was good for us. Really good.

Over the next week we had Fika with another friend who has just begun dating a Swedish man who grew up in southern Sweden. That was fun. Then we had dinner with our good friends Josh and Annie, and I took the kids for a long hike another day. Somehow in the last few days we found time for last minute dentist appointments, hastily planned friend get togethers for River with his best friends on opposite ends of Los Angeles and even dinner with our homeschooling group in the valley.

Topanga overlooking West LA

It was exhausting and soul filling. The hardest part being saying goodbye to Micah at the end of the week. She went on from LA to Missouri to spend time with her grandparents. It is tough not having her with us for this part of our life adventure in Sweden. But I know that it is the right thing. I know that she is thriving in her college in Colorado, and we are all growing and learning and becoming what we need to become. It is good.

Sunset along the PCH. Sometimes you have to stop driving, pull over and capture the moment.

 

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