A Californian living in Sweden

Tag: travel

Finding Cala Figuera

Driving a windy coastal road up to the to Cap de Formentor, windows open to appreciate the sea breeze of the fading summer day, looking down at the majestic cliffs crumbling into the Mediterranean; we saw it, a hidden cove with a rocky beach and an unbelievably aqua-blue bay, a private treasure on an island otherwise crowded with tourists.

“Can we go there?”

It was at the bottom of a steep gorge and I did not see how we could access it.

“Sure. Tomorrow, maybe.”

Teenagers are hard to deny, and so the next afternoon we found ourselves on the same scenic road, looking for our canyon beach. We drove out of the Port of Pollença, past the main tourist areas, onto the Formentor Peninsula, winding up to the entrance of Hotel Formentor, a luxury resort on a strip of pale, sandy beach, secluded amid the pine forest. The renown hotel was immortalized 70 years ago by Hollywood’s elite — Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, Charlie Chapman and Grace Kelly who spent her honeymoon with the Prince of Monaco there.

The road to the northeast end of the island stopped abruptly with a barrier blocking the way we had taken the night before. A parking attendant waved tourists into a giant, paid parking lot with a bus stop, and a steady stream of tourists with their colorful inflatable floats and beach towels parked their rental cars and headed down the wooded path to the famous beach.

“The road is closed to traffic during the day,” Kip reported after consulting the parking lot attendant. If we wanted to go further, we had to park the car and wait for a bus. It would be 20 minutes or more. Should we go back? Mallorca is full of amazing beaches. Was it worth the trouble?

This summer has been full of decisions like this. Do we continue? Do we turn around? Should we stay in Sweden? Move back to California? I am the family planner, and I have the minor talent of being able to do a mental cost analysis on the spot. My repressed inner accountant loves calculating wages, taxes, costs of living, risks and benefits; but it doesn’t really help us with making decisions because there are always hidden costs and risks to everything. The heart needs to lead the way.

So after a typical crisis of vacation indecision, we decided, in part because we did not want to disappoint our 17-year-old son, to wait for the bus.

It was the right decision.

We rode the bus packed with tourists wanting to ride to the end of the peninsula and see the lighthouse with its epic, edge-of-the-world views. We apprehensively got off at the first stop, found an ill-marked trail and started picking our way through the overgrown path, down the canyon. I was glad I was wearing sports sandals, but despite the heat, I wished I had worn pants to protect my legs from the sharp, dry grasses that grow along the hillside and into the path.

The trail opened up to cliffs small enough to scramble down and then a rocky beach of smooth, hot stones. A handful of other people had found the beach already and they had set up shelters using rocks and driftwood, towels and lightweight beach sheets.

A few people were snorkeling in the crystal-clear water and others were settled into the rocks, caves and coves nestled around the bay. We set up camp with our own driftwood and towels and jumped into the water. No, my men jumped in; I slowly immersed into the cool waters, mindful of the slimy rocks and pale fish that populated the shallows.

Like always, it took me awhile to get into the water. But once in, the water was amazing — calm, clear, clean, cool, but not cold. There were no waves, due to the protected bay, and when I treaded water several meters deeper than my height, I could see my toes perfectly, still painted pink from a month ago.

River and Kip found a small cliff to jump off and made Mallorcan friends, chatting with a group of locals who had come to swim in the cove. They jumped with them, tossed a football with them and they even lent us their face masks so we could see the fish swimming below us.

Curious mountain goats, sensing we had abandoned our lunch, emerged from the brush to investigate our bags. The must have been hungry, but not as desperate as California raccoons, because they did not chew through my cloth bag to get to our green Spanish olives and our jamón-and-Mallorca-cheese-on-crusty-white-baguette sandwiches.

Please, can I try your sandwich?

We stayed in the cove for hours, swam longer than I had in years, and finally packed up our things and picked our way back up the mountain to the bus stop. We lost the trail at one point and got a thrashing from the dried grasses as we bushwhacked our way to the top of the canyon. But we made it, in time to catch the bus back to the crowded parking lot and our rental car, back to the tourist crowds and a late-night dinner, Spanish style, under the stars in the fading heat of the day.

My Language Immersion Diversion

Rivstart, the standard Swedish textbook for the state sponsored language course, SFI, and Rosetta Stone, my starting place for Swedish studies before we arrived in Sweden. I now use Duolingo mostly.

Last November I dove deeper into my Swedish learning, taking an intense three-hour, daily class that lasted four weeks. It was perfect — exhausting and effective. I learned more than I could immediately articulate, but unfortunately the day after the class concluded I boarded a plane for the US and put Swedish learning on hold for a month.

That hold extended when I decided not to re-enroll in the intensive Swedish class and opted to try an online intensive crash course in Biblical Hebrew instead. I looked over the class syllabus and realized that the pace went alarmingly fast, a true crash course, so while I was in Los Angeles I ordered a little booklet on learning the alphabet and sounding out simple words. It arrived just in time, and while we were flying over the Atlantic Ocean, I was writing my first Hebrew letters on the back of a barf bag.

My very first attempts …

I was hooked.

I have always struggled with language learning. We lived in Los Angeles, for 14 years and I never made it past the first level of Spanish in Rosetta Stone. All of my New Year’s resolutions and short-lived attempts resulted in a “smattering” of Spanish vocabulary and common phrases. If I had to rate my language acquisition abilities, I would not have given myself much of a vote of confidence. But, fresh off of my budding success in Swedish, and aided by the gentle discouragement of my friends and family — “Oh, Hebrew is hard, you should just try Greek,” and “You can’t learn Hebrew in a few weeks,” and “I think you should focus on Swedish,” — I decided to give it a try. Why not?

By the time February rolled around I had a good handle on the alphabet, including the exotic vowels which are mostly expressed as subtext dots and dashes; and I was weary enough of the winter weather to press into the Hebrew course when it started the first week of February.

Extra curricular materials I found to help me through the course.

It was rough going. The class, which was composed of graduate students from around the world who already knew either Arabic and/or multiple European languages, went immediately from introducing the alphabet to reading and translating (with the help of a vocabulary sheet) long sentences. At first each sentence took me almost a half an hour to decode, but eventually, just before I thought I might give up, I began to see patterns. So I continued onward.

My not-so-helpful cat, keeping me company while I watch online lectures.

And now, more than halfway through the course, I am enjoying reading sentences from the Hebrew Bible in a matter of minutes instead of half an hour. I am still a long, long way from mastery; but I have learned enough to keep me motivated to learn more.

So why Hebrew? Why now?

I have always been at least mildly interested in learning Hebrew. But it always seemed like a quest out of my reach, a study that only serious Theologians pursue.

But in late November, as I was finishing my Swedish class, I attended a graduate school information fair at Lund University which happens to be a short train ride away. I looked into several graduate programs focusing on business or communications, but I was mostly fascinated by a graduate program called the Religious Roots of Europe — a study of early Judaism, Christianity and Islam, the connections between them and how they shaped Europe. It was a combination of so many things I love – history, theology, travel, personal narrative. Other then the fact that pursuing such a master’s degree seems to be counterproductive to actually getting a job – which I need to do – it seemed perfect. But there was a catch. Classical language study was a prerequisite. Students needed to have learned Hebrew, Arabic or Latin before they started the program.

I was disappointed, but ready to move on, when I met the head of the RRE program at Lund. He suggested I reach out to a colleague of his who teaches an intensive Hebrew course online, which I did.

Then after a few quick e-mail exchanges I started taking the Hebrew class on-line, not knowing if it would be too difficult for me to “keep up,” or if I would even be accepted into the graduate school program.

So here I was, in Sweden, in the dark of winter, studying ancient Hebrew with a Danish professor and handful of other international students from Germany, Syria, Turkey, France and other places. It was not what I had planned, but it has been unexpectedly delightful, like getting the Christmas present that I had always wanted but never mentioned because I did not know I wanted it.

Last month I took the train to Copenhagen and met my class in person. I was afraid that I would be embarrassingly unprepared, but all of my work at home had paid off and I was able to keep up with the class.

At this point I do not know if I will continue with the Religious Roots program in the fall. But even at this point I have already learned not only the basics of Biblical Hebrew, but also a powerful life lesson in what I am capable of, given enough dark winter hours.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Maybe it is not too crazy to think that I will be fluent in Swedish someday … and be able to read the Bible in Hebrew ….. and maybe order falafel in Israel. Maybe.

It is good to be inspired. That is worth the price of admission any day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live, Love and Carry Proper ID

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I left my son at the security check at the Copenhagen airport today and it was so much harder than I thought it would be. He is headed back to Los Angeles, on a nonstop flight that we booked back in July, back when the parting tears were fresh and my husband and I wondered if we had been wrong to drag a 15-year-old away from his best friends.

But this morning, as we stood there, and he let me hug him and kiss him in public, I suddenly felt panicked. He was getting ready to walk through the security gate and disappear and I would not be able to follow. If he needed me, I would not be able to help him.

I walked away, forced myself to breathe, told myself to stop being silly. I would have LOVED going on a trip like that when I was 15. My parents let me go on a trip to Venezuela when I was 16, and it was life changing in all the good ways.

Besides, I am proud of my son. And I love his friends. They are all great kids with great moms who have eagerly agreed to pick River up from the airport and drive him around LA. I want him to have this opportunity. He is so excited about going to LA to visit his friends. I am excited for him.

But my heart froze.

Twenty minutes went by and he did not call to tell me he was at the gate. I went to the airport Starbucks because there are no Starbucks in Malmö or anywhere I have been in Sweden, and I had told him I would stay in the airport until he boarded the plane. Ten more minutes passed, still no call.

I called, left a message, decided to buy my train ticket back to Malmö, kill a little more time before I went back home to the emptier apartment.

This is how it is going to be. This is the future.

While we were walking through the terminal to the security gate, River had almost sounded hesitant.

“I’m used to associating travel with us, with our whole family,” he said.  “It’s different to be just me.”

It was as if that reality had just occurred to him for the first time after weeks of planning, anticipating, dreaming about going to visit friends.

Yeah, that is part of this whole international thing. If Dad and I are going to live outside of the US, you are going to have to travel to us sometimes. It’s good.

I thought about my daughter in college in Colorado. I went with her to college for move-in. I wanted her to feel established in college before she felt alone, but I know the next time she flies to see us she will be coming on her own too.

Scattered.

It is part of adventures, paths diverge, converge, diverge again. There is always something new, somebody new. The best travelers love and let go and move on to love more.

Family is different though.

I miss my parents. I miss my daughter. I miss my friends, the ones I know I could still call despite a 9-hour time difference and say, “Can you pray for me? I’m feeling like a wreck today.”

River is on a plane to visit those kinds of friends this week. It’s good. It’s really good.

After what seemed like an eternity, and exactly half of my Starbucks, he called. They were holding him at passport check, not letting him leave Denmark. His plane was boarding and he could not leave.

I freaked out.

It was exactly what I worried about. He needed me and I could not come to him.

What is the problem? You have your passport? You have your Swedish ID card? He didn’t know. He just had to wait, and so did I.

I knew I couldn’t go back to Malmö until it was resolved. What if he didn’t make his flight? Would we be able to get him on another flight to LA? What about our trip tomorrow? Kip and I were planning to go to Madeira. We had plane tickets and hotels booked. We were only planning for it to be the two of us.

I walked back to security. They said, no. Of course they could not let me through to passport check. I waited for a while longer and then decided to walk back to the airline check in. I found a helpful clerk who called the gate, told them the situation. Maybe they could hold the plane…. maybe. Somehow I doubted they would hold a fully booked, nonstop flight to LA for a 15-year-old who could not convince police that he was legally living in Sweden. I was not even sure why the Denmark police cared.

Finally, River called. He was getting on the plane. It was ok. Just a misunderstanding. He would call later, when he got to LA.

In the wave of relief that passed over me I remembered that this was exactly what international travel is all about — the unexpected, the freak-out-moments, the unknown. Its why so many people don’t ever leave their comfort zones, let alone the US. I’m ok with being the one sweating in security line while the plane is boarding. I’m just not used to watching my young adult son navigate it alone.

Alone. I felt his absence.

I want my son to have an adventure-filled life. I want him to explore, to dream big, to climb high mountains. I want him to reach his full potential with nothing holding him back, not even me.

I took the commuter train back to Sweden, watched the water flowing under the Øresund Bridge, and thought about all the days ahead of us, all of us. Paths together, paths apart. Paths. Like the rhythm of a commuter train.

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The bridge ended. We stopped in Hyllie, just over the border in Sweden and border control officers boarded the train. A young blond woman in a lime green reflective vest, an official Border Security uniform, stopped at my train seat when I showed her my US Passport.

Where is your proof of residency?

I showed her my identity card, just like the one my son showed passport control in Copenhagen.

That is not a residency permit. 

But I have one. I have a Swedish personal number. I have a bank account and an apartment. Do you know how difficult it is to get a personal number and a bank account, obviously, I could not have gotten any of that without legal residency.

No, I need proof of legal residency, a card.

Maybe she meant the little red card we got when we arrived and were photographed and fingerprinted at the migration office?

I waited while she conversed with a group of her green vested colleagues who had gathered to determine my fate. The train stood still.

After a few long minutes they came to a consensus. She let me know my mistake and let me go with a shrug, a typical Swedish chastisement. I muttered something to the Swedish passenger next to me who responded something polite about immigrants, and I nodded. I know, it’s not personal, its just the system.

I got off the train at my regular stop, walked the few short blocks back to the apartment, enjoying the crisp fall air and thinking about my own trip to Madeira the next day.  I might not pack my heavy jacket. But I’ll be sure to bring that residency card.

Live, love, let go and carry proper identification.

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Just a few of my dear California friends on our last night together.

 

 

 

A Drizzly Saturday Morning in the Park

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I was right about the sunshine, wrong about the rain.

The sunshine did not last. Saturday morning, I woke up to grey clouds and a deep desire to get out, go for a run, breathe deeply into life. By the time I got out the door the unforgiving sky was threatening to rain. Then came a fine sprinkle and then a full London-style, persistent, wet drizzle that could almost count as rain. But I ran to the park anyway and found that unlike any 50-degree rainy Saturday in California, the park was packed, completely full of people. And it began to occur to me that Swedish people are not hindered by the California delusion that sunshine is necessary for outdoor enjoyment.

There were the usual outside people, the kind that don’t really have a choice, dog owners. But there were also plenty of other people strolling along the park’s extensive paths — couples with babies, family’s with little children on little bikes, runners of all ages, single people walking, running, just enjoying being outside in their water-resistant clothing. I saw plenty of red-cheeked smiles.

I was not wearing water resistant clothing so I was quite sweaty and rain drenched by the time I stopped at the library, which was also full of people enjoying a rainy Saturday morning in the relative tranquility of Malmö’s public library.

This place, by the way, is beautiful. Located on the edge of Malmö’s Slottsparken, this urban library is a modern architectural masterpiece. Half of the library is old, a castle-like museum that has housed books for seventy years. The other half, which was finished in the late 90s, is a massive glass box, ushering light into the main hall of bookshelves, illuminating even the grayest of days. This half is called a “Calendar of Light,” and is a perfect example of modern Scandinavian genius for drawing the light inside. I love it.

While at the library I picked up a stack of travel books to help us plan our fall escape. Our son has a week off from school at the end of October and has already planned to make his first solo international trip, going home to visit friends in LA. Kip took the week off from work, so now we just have to decide where to go. Spain? Italy? Morocco?

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We both want to get a little autumn sunshine, but we don’t want to break the bank either. I find myself checking historical weather averages of different places within reasonable travel distance. If we are going to travel, it would be nice to get a little unbottled, natural Vitamin D. I know that there is joy in the rain, but I still want to find a little sun, just for a week in October before the real winter arrives.

 

 

 

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