Tag: winter

Do you like Malmö?

By Theresa Haynes

On March 22, 2018

In Uncategorized

Do you like Malmö?

I hear that question frequently. What do you think of Sweden? Do you like Malmö?

There is the tendency to talk about the weather first as this is universally the easiest small talk topic.

“Well, you know, we came from California and its sunny there all the time.”

“Yeah, so this is our first winter is 15 years.”

“You know, its ok.”

But all of that is true and completely beside the point. No one asked me what I thought about the weather in Malmö. Everyone, with the exception of one person I met from Northern Ireland, agrees that the weather in Malmö is less than pleasant, especially the long, dark, rainy winters.

But do I like Malmö?

This Sunday, a woman I met after church, awkwardly socializing over cup of post-church coffee, asked me this question. She was older, from a more rural part of Sweden, and she communicated through halting Swinglish that she understood English but did not speak it well.

I stopped, trying to articulate my words simply. I looked into her clear blue eyes in her face framed by wispy blond bangs, and I heard myself say, “I like Sweden.”

She smiled. Satisfied.

And I realized that I believed what I said.

I told her that just yesterday Kip and I had spent the afternoon with a neighbor we met on the street, a very un-Swedish connection. But even so he had invited us over for coffee, and so we sat in his beautifully Scandinavian styled apartment and had coffee and freshly baked, homemade cardamom rolls with his wife and toddler son. The candles on the table warmed the room and made me forget about the cold Saturday afternoon outside.

And last Friday night, despite the cold snap that brought the temperature well below freezing, Kip and I rode our bicycles across town to meet up with another couple and discuss our lives over imported wine and olives. After a wonderful evening of discovering common hearts in uncommon narratives, we rode our bikes back through town and stopped near Möllevången for midnight falafel from a middle eastern restaurant that keeps very unSwedish business hours. And I kept thinking about how, just a year ago, I could not have even imagined such a night.

The real Malmö … late night kebabs paid with Swedish kroner under a Swedish flag. (Note: This picture is not from Möllevången, but from our neighborhood kebab shack. These popup stands offer the best “fast” food in Sweden.)

I like our life and adventure here.

I love that Malmö is an international city, a baby city where you can ride bikes from one end to the other, but a multicultural hub where you can get to know people from around the world who have chosen to make this tip of Sweden their home.

I like the indoor winter culture.

I like the hospitality.

I like the massive bike roads and the fact that we bike everywhere, even in the middle of the night in the cold of winter.

I love the people we have met, the friends who feel like real friends, the kind that I will keep in touch with for a long, long time.

I like the coffee culture, and dangerously so, I like all the freshly baked bread and bakery treats. It’s the best I have had in the world, and there always seems to be opportunities to partake.

Swedish semla and salad, a perfect spontaneous lunch date with my friend Jennifer. Semla is the Swedish response to “fat Tuesday,” a traditionally pre-lent delight that somehow arrives in bakeries early and lingers after the beginning of lent.

I love the tree that grows just outside our balcony. I have watched it change from green, to yellow, then barren, then white with snow and now dripping with freezing rain and the pre-spring promise of budding tips. I like the reality of seasons and the rhythm it brings to people’s lives.

Our tree, exactly five months ago, the last of the green leaves.

Today, no new leaves yet, but tiny rain-dripped buds, birds and a curious cat experiencing his first spring ever.

So yes, sweet lady from Sweden with your careful worded English and your hospitable smile, I like Sweden.

Winter Sun in Malmö

By Theresa Haynes

On February 5, 2018

In Uncategorized

Kip snapped this picture on his train commute this morning.

The sun shone victoriously under a cold February sky today. It was a gorgeous celebration of the rapidly lengthening days and no one in our family went without mentioning it.

A layer of frost and snow glistened under the rare morning sun. River took this picture.

I rode across town in the late afternoon. It was still cold, very cold, but nice to be outside.

And even the twilight was clear as I crossed one of the partially frozen Malmö canals. Is it too much to hope for a few more days like this?

In Defense of a Forgettable Weekend

By Theresa Haynes

On February 5, 2018

In Uncategorized

He thinks I should paws for his edits. An open laptop is a laptop needing his touch.

This weekend was a blur of quiet family life, the kind of weekend that I suspect will be vaguely remembered. There were no major events, no milestones, no memorable travel. It was the kind of weekend lived once but repeated often; forgettable, but beautiful in the simplicity of its own existence.

Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it–every,every minute?

― Thornton Wilder, Our Town

Saturday morning we made family breakfast — Kip, with the bacon that I always complain about but love to eat, me, with a Trader Joe’s pumpkin bread mix that I stashed in my luggage when we were in Los Angeles last month. (I still miss Micah every time I set the Saturday morning breakfast table for three, but I talked to her Friday night and she seems to be doing really well in college, genuinely enjoying her classes, excitedly recounting details of her church history class.)

Saturday we also cleaned the apartment, so much easier now that we live in a two-bedroom apartment instead of a three-story, four-bedroom, four-bathroom house in California. (That sounded like a complaint. It really is a bonus to clean up faster. Simplicity.)

Then Kip and I went grocery shopping together. I like to stock up on nuts and veggies, fresh bakery bread, and a boxed soup that I eat for lunch on cold days when I am home alone. I try to keep the processed food to a few “emergency” frozen pizzas and boxes of cereal for our ever-hungry teenage boy. Of course an occasional carton of ice cream or Swedish chocolate bar makes its way into the basket too.

Kip usually picks out the cheeses and meats, and he does a good job of it. Had we been in Los Angeles he would have gotten wine and beer too, but they are not sold in the grocery stores in Sweden. The only retail store allowed to sell alcohol in Sweden is the state-sanctioned monopoly Systembolaget.

Recently I got a very small bottle of tequila that was more than twice the price I would have paid in a grocery store in the US. Most Swedes will defend this government-controlled monopoly, saying the government has its people’s best interests at heart with its prohibition-style regulations. Systembolaget claims to be taking the negative aspects of alcohol out of society by eliminating the profit. Of course at $30 for a small bottle of budget tequila, I think someone is making a profit.

One memorable moment of the weekend was Saturday night when we invited friends over for dinner to celebrate one of their birthdays. I made dinner. They brought drinks. We had my childhood-favorite American apple crisp with ice cream, and we talked about living in Sweden. One of them is Swedish, the other from the UK. They have only lived in Malmö for a few years so they still see life here with both an insider and outsider perspective.

Easy like Saturday morning.

Sunday afternoon we made a quick family trip to IKEA. It was mostly River’s idea, as Kip can easily get to IKEA any day he works in Älmhult. But I was more than happy to go because I had not been to our favorite Swedish mega store since before Christmas. I realized when we were walking into the store that River mostly wanted to go because he was craving IKEA’s mashed potatoes, a soothing comfort food for his newly braced teeth.

We decided to start orthodontia for River this week. It is something that has been on the to-do list for awhile now, but for the last few years we have never felt settled enough to commit the time to braces. You don’t start orthodontia if you are planning to leave town. I have known too many friends who had to make unplanned trips back to LA to finish their teenager’s orthodontia treatment.

So as River starts this new dental treatment, I know it will also be a solid reminder that we are planning to be in Sweden for at least the next year, maybe a few months more or even longer. And what else will happen during that time?

At IKEA I also got a green plant for the apartment. As the last remaining Christmas decorations make it into the clearance bins, little green windowsill plants are popping up like the first promise of spring.

I put the plant on our bedroom windowsill, next to the crocuses Kip picked up at IKEA last week. I’m hoping our kitten-cat who does not seem to be able to resist temptation of any kind, will not find them. Plants have not fared well under his teeth and claws, but I really like these little green reminders of new life and I plan to keep them shut behind our bedroom door until we have trained the cat to respect the plant life. Coexist kitty.

In November this plant met its end under the kitty’s paws. I am hoping a couple of months has matured our feline friend.

Cool Runnings

By Theresa Haynes

On January 26, 2018

In Uncategorized

I think there are people who love to run, but I have not met many of them.

I think most runners are like me. They look out the window, observe that it is too hot, too cold, too windy, too rainy or whatever, and then they lace up and head out the door anyway. It’s never an easy start, but I almost always feel better after the run, sometimes even during the run.

Winter in Malmö is no exception.

Even with my hat, gloves, long-sleeve outer running shell and new running tights that cover my legs to the ankle, I still brace for the cold, especially if it is windy. And I find myself thinking about easier options.

Last week I tried an indoor gym a few times. Running on the treadmill was boring, although it offered me the unique opportunity to watch American reruns with Swedish subtitles. At no time in my previous life could I have predicted that in January 2018 I would be watching Murder She Wrote, picking through the Swedish words I know, while running on a treadmill — sweating inside to avoid the wintery elements outside.

They had free coffee at the gym, but not a single drinking fountain. When I asked the attendant where the water fountain was, he told me to get water from the toilet. That’s what he said, toilet. At least I have been here long enough to know that toilet is a general word for restroom, which is comforting, but when my free trial week ended, I decided to go back to outside running.

Earlier this month, when we returned from California and started running in the Malmö parks again, I noticed that the birds were standing in the middle of the lake. They were standing on partially submerged ice, surrounded by warmer water, and it looked like they were frozen statues floating on liquid.

But that was just one or two mornings.

Every other day that we have run the lake and ponds have been ice free. It is just not cold enough for them to freeze, and really, that surprises me. Here we are in January, one of the coldest months of the northern hemisphere, and it is so warm in southern Sweden that the ponds don’t freeze.

It has barely snowed this winter either. We had a dusting in December and last week there was snow mixed in the rain, dissolving on the streets below. People have told us that it is typical, but my Malmö friends also tell me that when they were children they remember snow sledding in Pildammsparken. I can’t imagine.

Is this what global warming looks like?

It could be. A few degrees difference would make a big difference in allowing the ponds to freeze and snow to fall. As it is, the temperatures have hovered just above freezing. No snow, just grey clouds and cold drizzle, but ironically, once you warm up, its not bad running weather though.

Today the air was the warmest yet, and deep fog hovered over the lake in an ethereal kind of beauty. Like so many things in this Swedish immersion experience, its different from what life was like before, different, but beautiful.

Awake in the Dark

By Theresa Haynes

On January 16, 2018

In Uncategorized

Awake in the darkness.

Thinking. Writing with eyes shut.

Quiet. Still. Maybe it will pass if I stop thinking.

No. Every waking thought propels me higher out of sleep. I am no longer hovering over my barely conscious dreams. I am awake.

I check the time. Just past 4 a.m.

“It’s four in the morning
I can’t sleep and it feels like a warning
Oh oh….”

Thank you, Switchfoot for the soundtrack of my life. It is the second week we have been back in Sweden and I still can not get the night sleep right. Is it jet lag? Is it taking melatonin at night and being too tired during the day to stay awake, power napping and waking up at night after too few hours?

Is it that I feel suspended between directions again, not working on a big goal, restless? At night my mind wakes up. The tyranny of choice. What to do? What should be a blessing feels like a curse. Freedom. Responsibility. Opportunity slipping away.

I am naturally a morning person, so when I wake up at night I think it is especially difficult to get back to sleep. All my intellectual energy pours into problem solving mode. Sometimes the unabashed, illogical dream consciousness holds on just long enough to make thoughts creative. I see in color. I solve in color.

If I did not think it would hurt my family/social life, I could just wake up every morning at 4 a.m. for a private writing session, followed by a long midday nap. Maybe that is what winter should look like in Sweden, for me.

This morning after I got up I walked out into the living room, stretched and watched the blowing snow in the suspended street lights. In a city that stays dark for so many hours in January, the street lighting systems are evidence of Sweden’s strong, stable government. Miles of public lights illuminate the streets and sidewalks, bike paths and even parks. Its easy and relatively safe to get around after dark. But sometimes it’s hard to sleep with the light pressing into the apartment, especially at 4 in the morning.

Snow and light and I really need to learn how to use my camera better

I can hear the wind and I am glad I don’t have to go anywhere this morning. The snow seems to turn to rain before it hits the pavement below. There is no picturesque accumulation of snow, just driving, wet precipitation. Snow and rain and ice and wind.

We were told it would be this way, but this is the first week it has been cold enough to experience it. You have to leave Malmö to see snow in winter. It just does not get cold enough here with the marine layer to support snow. It is winter without snow, like Narnia without Christmas.

What should I do with it?

Internal Life

By Theresa Haynes

On November 27, 2017

In Uncategorized

Late afternoon on a damp day

November in Malmö is ending just as gray as the locals predicted. In typical Scandinavian reliability, the weather is slogging steadily into colder, damper, deeper darkness. The trees are barren and the apartment buildings look as unapologetically uniform as any sample of mid century egalitarianism ever was. It is not particularly picturesque, and if it were not for the festive Christmas decorations popping up in apartment windows and dangling across cobblestone streets, Malmö might feel completely void of color in its November drizzle.

But that is just the world outside our doors. Inside is another story.

Inside our living space has never been warmer, cozier or more welcoming. Even the cars driving through the wet streets below amplify the peace inside. The Danish famously call it “hygge,” and it is a real thing. It is a winter home-life happiness in the form of evening candles, home cooked meals shared around the dining room table, books being read, guitars being played, new friends joining us for dinner and side-aching, hilarious stories shared. It is an interior happiness to match a soulful contentment, and it’s a whole new life I did not know was possible in the sun-drenched lands of Los Angeles busyness.

Christmas stars light up apartment windows all over Sweden. We got ours from IKEA, of course.

My November Survival Guide

By Theresa Haynes

On November 25, 2017

In Uncategorized

Before we moved to Sweden I had heard that November was the hardest month emotionally. As the trees drop the last of their golden leaves, the days get shorter and the temperatures plummet; it can be easy to develop a case of the winter blues.

A simple Google search back in May pulled up more than a few top ten type guides, most of them proposing the same kind of advice I would give to any friend struggling with a mild case of depression – exercise, make friends, dress up every once in a while, invest in yourself.

The articles all suggested November travel and one even specifically suggested going to California for the rest of the winter. When I read that, sitting at a computer in California, I didn’t laugh. I took a deep breath and started researching light lamps.

But here we are, more than half way through November, and I have to say, it does feel like winter. The days are short and getting shorter every day. The air is refreshingly crisp as I ride my bike to Swedish class, and the sun can actually be beautiful mid morning. (I have gotten more than one happy morning photo text from Kip riding the train to Älmhult.) But by mid afternoon the weather is often colder, sometimes grey and always darkening. On nice days, a uniquely warm, late afternoon light fills the space between apartment buildings, just before the world drops into total nighttime darkness, a few minutes before 4 p.m. It is winter in Scandanavia.

Sweden from the morning train to IKEA headquarters in Älmhult

So now that I am well on my way to being a veteran of the notorious November, what are my survival tips?

Exercise

It’s cold, sometimes raining, sometimes blustery, but there is no way around it, exercise is key, maybe THE key. And for someone who once ran marathons and had a daily running route involving running three miles up a mountain and through a hilly neighborhood in Malibu, I acutely know that I have not been following this advice enough. I need more exercise.

I still lace up and run a few times a week, and I try to get “every day” exercise by biking more places than I drive. And if I am being generous with myself, I might even count the squats I do while playing with our overactive kitten. But it is not enough. If I cannot convince myself to run or bike more, I might need to join a gym.

Invest in Friendship

I read this advice on all the blogs: Get out. Make friends. Be intentional about having a social life. This is all true, and ironically easier for us here in Sweden than it was in sunny California. From the first weekend we moved to Malmö we have met generous, hospitable people who have eagerly invited us into their homes.

We may have a bit of a social advantage in that we visited a couple of international English speaking churches, both of which were full of English-speaking internationals happy to have new potential friends arrive in Sweden. But it has not just been other expats who have welcomed us with open arms. On the second weekend that we were in Malmö our whole family was invited to an elaborate dinner party, hosted by an extraordinarily hospitable Swedish couple who wanted to include us in a midsummer family meal. And that was just the beginning. Our time here has been full of meeting new people, exchanging numbers and social media, and getting together for fika, lunch at a restaurant, dinner in homes or even just a run in the park. When we had a birthday party for Kip last month our apartment was full of new friends, none of which we knew this time last year.

Selfies, fika and an international bouquet of new friends from the Ukraine, South Africa, Denmark and me.

Warm Clothes

I have heard more than one person in Malmö quip that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. And that is not true. Some days can only be described as “bad weather,” but the right clothing goes along way. In Malmö, the right clothing includes windproof, waterproof coats, hats, scarfs, gloves, wool socks, warm shoes; almost none of which we had after living 14 years in southern California.

The North Face coat I bought in LA made its debut the middle of October.

But I bought a few things in Los Angeles before we came here, and I have also had some luck at a few of the nicer thrift stores here. For a fraction of what I paid for the parka I bought at the North Face outlet in Camarillo, I found a perfect winter coat that is long enough to keep me warm and short enough to not get in the way of riding a bike. Even so, with every passing day of colder weather, I am making a list for Santa: longer running tights, warmer jeans, better gloves, maybe long underwear. The barefoot days of summer seem like a long time ago.

Sunshine Travel

I had read that it is a good idea to travel to sunnier places in November, but I thought it was an expat suggestion, not a cultural norm until we got a 7 a.m. flight out of Copenhagen on the first Saturday of “Fall Break.” The airport was packed like Disneyland in July. And that is when I learned that all school children in Sweden got that week off of school. Anyone who could afford to leave the winterlands headed south. We went to the island of Madeira, off the coast of Africa, and heard Swedish all week long.

Where to next November?

Vitamin D

Apparently human bodies really need vitamin D to stay healthy and avoid a whole host of chronic illnesses. Fortunately the body makes vitamin D on its own. It is one of the great things about being human, but with the sun barely shining directly on Sweden in the winter and 95 percent of my body covered with layers of clothing, I realized that I might not be getting enough. I had been strongly advised to take vitamin D, and I had been taking it earlier in the fall, but when I got busy with life I forgot to include it in my daily routine. Then I started noticing that I was tired, really tired. I started taking vitamin D supplement again and it seemed to help significantly.

Learn Something New

Swedish friends have told us that winter is the time you catch up on Netflix, and I can see how that might happen. I watched six episodes of Homeland over one weekend until I realized I was low on Vitamin D and feeling sad about not being in the US for Thanksgiving.

Entertainment induced brain slack is not a good November survival strategy. Taking on a new challenge is much more rewarding. Reading books, taking a class, trying new recipes, practicing a musical instrument all makes November a happier month.

In addition to my Swedish class, I have been reading an amazing biography on the German theologian, Hitler conspirator, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and I can’t stop talking about how amazing it is. It takes more effort to pick up a biography than watch tv, but its totally worth it.

Light up the House

I met a Swedish girl at a party who told me November was her favorite month in Sweden because it was the time she pulled out all of her winter decorations, her candles and window lights. And I can totally understand that.

We finished furnishing our apartment just before Kip’s birthday in October, so winterizing our decorations was as simple as adding a few more candles and a giant IKEA star in the window. Even though the world is dark and cold outside we have created an oasis of warmth inside.

Family Dinner

This is my own addition to the November survival list. We eat dinner together almost every night. We had always wanted to do that in California, but it often seemed difficult to make a priority. There were too many opportunities and obligations on the calendar. Here there seems to be time to eat together, in the dining room. We talk about the day’s highlights, what I read, what someone said at work or on the train, what happened at school, what the crazy cat did. Its rich.

As I am making the list, it has occurred to me that our November life is far better than mere survival. It is full of simple pleasures — family dinners, hospitality, new friends, candles, books, Swedish class. Its simple stuff, really simple; but I think deep down it’s the life that most people wish they had. Who would have thought that life thrives in the cold?

And Thanksgiving! Hosting a thanksgiving feast and inviting Swedish friends should be included in any American’s November survival guide.